Section (1)

Acceptable Traits

(A) Hair: Applicant's hair shall be Red or Strawberry Blonde (coloration need not be natural).

(B) Accent: Applicant shall possess or be able to suitably mimmic a Southern accent as shall be found in areas such as: Alabama, Georgia, Lousiana, Mississippi, Texas... etc.

(C) Cooking: Applicant will be required to take a Cooking Test.

(D) Stature: Weight should be proportional to (or lesser than) height. Height is prefered over weight, but criteria is flexible.

(E) Photogenicness: Applicants must be agreeable to being photographed.

Section 2

Prefered Behaviour

(A) Applicant should enjoy white/blush wine such as Zinfandel or White Grenech. Sangre' or a suitable substitute may be accepted.

(B) Successful applicant will be expected to participate in the viewing of incredible sunsets on a regular basis.

(C) Applicant is expected to enjoy, or at least tolerate, certain animals (aka 'critters') both domesticated and wild. Certain duties regarding the animals may be in effect occasionally.

(D)Applicant will be expected to supply hugs upon request or slightly prior to.

(E) Applicant should enjoy hiking more than shopping.

(F) Successful applicant will be able to hug trees (of her choice) or be able to watch me do so without laughing loudly.

Section 3

Dress Code

(A) Applicant may wear anything as long as it appears sexy.

(B) Succesful applicant will honor occaasional "special requests".

Section 4

Occupancy

(A) Adobe Castles: Sucessful applicant will (eventually) be required to co-habitat in an adobe castle similar to this one: www.lxnr.nmdigitalvideo.com/Emerald.htm

(B) Alternative Dwellings: Applicant may be asked to occupy lesser dwellings* occasionally and for limited durations.

Section 5

Variables

(A) Negotiations: Additional Terms/Factors/Interpretations... etc. not covered above may be negotiated - if in good faith.

(B) Bribes: Certain types of bribes may be accepted (some may be repeatable), however, the affect and duration of certain bribes may be regulated.

Section 6

Contact

(A) Prospective applicants should apply for an interview by virtual personage by contacting:

Dances With Bears

Notice: Any or all parts of these terms may be altered to include specific additions, deletions, restrictions... and so on...
without prior written notice. It is the applicants responsibility to stay current with these alterations.